


as soon as it's over i can be me again

by newct127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Break Up Talk, Epiphanies, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Not beta'd we die like men, Slice of Life, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vacation, get a job. own a business. suck a dick., hyuckil on vacation, they're all nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24522541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127
Summary: Taeil’s relationship is falling apart, so he decides to join Sicheng and Jaehyun on their trip to get away from it. What he doesn’t know is that the real reason they’re going is Sicheng’s dissertation, and he’s suddenly desperate to get out of the guided tours the guys have planned.In other words, Hyuckil meet on vacation.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 34
Kudos: 172





	as soon as it's over i can be me again

**Author's Note:**

> so apparently, i go from writing hyuckil filth to writing them as nuns...  
> this exists cause i googled ‘oldest lakes in the world’, went down a wikipedia rabbit hole, consumed sooo much politics and history, and built this fic around it cause i was bored. i also spent some two hours on google maps and street view to map things out in my head. this might be more geographically correct than needed. welp.  
> special thanks to the stranger on hello talk for the additional info, and answering all the food questions i had with useful details.
> 
> voila. hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> the title is from drinks by cyn

It’s their third fight today, and Taeil feels drained and defeated.

It starts with a question, Taeil asks if Johnny had a chance to pick up groceries. That question gets turned into who does what for the household and how well they do it, and while Johnny’s on the offense, all Taeil can think about is how he can’t deal with this anymore, how tired he is of the cycle repeating itself every day.

The fighting started about four months back, when Johnny lost his job. To say that he’s been on edge since would be putting it lightly, and Taeil tries to be calm and comforting, but it’s not easy. It’s especially not easy when his other half doesn’t want any comfort, Johnny’s still stuck looking for blame, he’s not ready to move on from that setback.

Taeil understands, he does, and he doesn’t see it as anything serious. People lose their jobs, it happens, but it seems to be very serious for Johnny. His attempts at reassuring his boyfriend that everything will be fine fall on deaf ears, and whatever he tries leads to the same outcome. Fights, and Johnny taking everything, every question or statement like a personal attack, even though they never are. It’s not the end of the world. The job market is saturated, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get one. It’ll just take a bit of time. Taeil has no idea how many times he repeated that, but it just won’t get through to Johnny. Which makes Taeil simply frustrated.

He no longer knows why he’s holding onto the relationship. It’s just so familiar, it’s what he’s known for the last three years. They’ve been through so much together, they’ve gotten over everything. Maybe he’s hoping it’ll get fixed in the future, the way everything else has in the past. So far, it doesn’t seem to be fixing itself, it’s not going away, or even budging slightly.

When the fighting gets too much one of them leaves the apartment. It’s usually Johnny, needing a break from being stuck inside all day, or needing to clear his head after another failed job interview. Today, however, Taeil gets too overwhelmed by it all, so it’s his turn.

* * *

Weirdly enough, Taeil doesn’t feel like getting drinks with Doyoung today. Doyoung usually drinks him under the table while providing snotty remarks rather than meaningful advice, and he already feels tired and miserable enough without alcohol in his system, or Doyoung’s ‘just end it, already’ speech. So he goes to his technically married friends for some relationship advice and hopefully a meal, he hasn’t eaten since breakfast.

“Are you sure you can survive the next few days without us?” Sicheng questions. Taeil groans in response and lies back onto the floor. Ten days without actual advice, only Doyoung’s judgment. He’s been dreading this ever since he first heard about it.

Sicheng and Jaehyun are preparing for a ten day holiday, they’re actually packing up the final items because their flight leaves just before midnight. They have to leave for the airport in three short hours.

“No,” Taeil admits, the words feeling heavier in his soul as soon as he says them, “I won’t have anyone to bitch to. I’ll just walk aimlessly around the city, writing really long text chains to you two.”

“I look forward to reading those,” Jaehyun says, throwing a shirt towards his arms. Taeil agreed to help fold, it’s the only reason they allowed him inside, so he’s ready to fold his heart out. Jaehyun walks back into their closet, to get more stuff out, leaving Sicheng to deal with Taeil’s complains. He does that sometimes, and Taeil gets it. He’s Johnny’s friend also, he was Johnny’s friend first, and he must not be enjoying being caught in the middle of it. Taeil hates that he does that to him. Sicheng, on the other hand, is all Taeil’s though.

“It’s not like I can just come with,” he says absentmindedly, folding in the sleeves of the shirt.

“Why not?” Sicheng asks.

“What?” Taeil queries, then gets hit on the head by another shirt that Jaehyun throws at him.

“I’m pretty sure you can get a seat on the plane. And Doyoung is always offering you those vacation days you keep turning down.”

“Wait, what’s happening?” Jaehyun is just as confused as Taeil.

“I’m just telling Illie that he should come with us,” Sicheng informs him, then addresses Taeil once more, “We’ll have fun. You’ll get to clear your head and decide where you stand.”

“If the vacation doesn’t do it for you, the flight alone is enough to get you to do that,” Jaehyun adds.

“It’s true.”

“How long is the flight, exactly?”

“Twenty hours.”

He’s enjoying this line of conversation, and when he thinks about it, he’s pretty eager to join them. It sounds like a great idea. He hasn’t had a vacation ever, and he needs it. Now, more than ever. Not having to fight with someone every day? Yes, please.

“I don’t know if you guys are really, genuinely inviting me, or if you’re being sarcastic little shits again, wondering if I’m gonna bite or not,” Taeil says, his forehead scrunching as he tries to come to a conclusion. Sicheng and Jaehyun look at each other, a discussion without any words exchanged. Taeil really misses that ability. These days, when he looks at Johnny that way Johnny goes on the offense and asks what the latest thing is that he’s getting blamed for. So Taeil tries not to look most of the time.

“We’re being genuine,” Jaehyun seconds his statement with a nod, “If you don’t think you can spend two weeks facing your long-term boyfriend, then you should take a break from your boyfriend.”

“If I can get a seat on that plane, I’m going.”

Sicheng gets him a seat on the flight, and he also books him a room in the same hotel as him and Jaehyun, which is excellent, cause Taeil hates being alone in unknown places. He had a moment of blinding panic once he agreed to the trip, but remembering that he won’t be alone there, or be with Johnny calms him down.

What Taeil gets done on his way home is the extremely important call to his boss, if he can call Doyoung that. He’s known him for years, they met while Doyoung was still in high school and Taeil was looking for a job. Doyoung had posted an ad for a software engineer, which was exactly what Taeil wanted to do and when they first met he didn’t laugh in his innocent 16-year old face. Instead, he heard Doyoung and his crazy idea for a startup out. Doyoung then offered him a paycheck as he established the company because he believed Taeil knew exactly what he needed him to, and Taeil believed in his vision enough to provide him with guidance on how certain things need to be done in order to make the company successful. It was a crazy idea, sure, but that crazy idea was also an excellent one cause it filled a large hole in the market. Then the company grew, and people came and went, the customers multiplied, but Taeil remained as Doyoung’s right hand man ever since the day they met. Whatever project they worked on, Taeil oversaw it. Doyoung was the CEO and CFO, Taeil was the COO and CIO. They couldn’t have made it without the other, the company would exist if one of them wasn’t involved.

That’s why it’s not an issue when he calls. Doyoung has in fact been trying to get him to go on vacation for years, he hadn’t taken one ever. And Doyoung might be one step higher on the ladder of the company, but Taeil is the second step on the entire freaking ladder. So he gets the vacation days he needs without any hustle, all he really does is tell Doyoung he wants eleven days and he wants to use them starting immediately.

Now breaking the news to Johnny is the tricky part.

“What do you mean you’re going with Jae and Sicheng? They’re going to Europe,” Johnny’s voice is already rising and Taeil hates the uneasy filing that slight change in volume causes.

“And I’m going to Europe with them.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah, just like that.”

“Sure, run away,” Johnny says. Three simple words, but they trigger something in Taeil that makes him just say exactly what he’s feeling. He cannot hold back anymore.

“The thought of not having friends to complain to about our latest hits scares the shit out of me. I don’t know what we’re becoming, but it’s not healthy and I don’t like it. We need to figure it out. I need to figure myself out. I can’t do it here,” he says. He starts to feel lighter as the words leave his mouth, and it scares him. The look on Johnny’s face as he processes what Taeil’s saying isn’t a pleasant one either, “We haven’t spent any time apart in three years, Johnny, how do we know that we still even like each other.”

“You’re saying you don’t like me.”

“All we do is fight, and I want us to take some time off and decide what we want from this. What’s the best thing to do about us, we need to figure it out.”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re gonna come back in two weeks and it’ll all go back to normal. We just need time apart, you’re right,” Johnny’s voice is calm as he speaks. He walks away a moment later, first to the living room, and then without another word straight out of the apartment, leaving Taeil to do all his packing on his own.

Taeil hadn’t noticed in how much denial his boyfriend’s in. This is the first time he actually sees it. It’s not just him holding onto the great moments from the past. Johnny’s doing the same.

It’s not going to go back to normal, Taeil wants to say, but he feels like he already added too much oil to this fire, so he shuts his mouth, swallows the words and feels them burn the back of his throat. He doesn’t have time to process it right now. He continues packing, already knowing what he’s gonna dwell on once he’s on the plane.

* * *

Twenty hours, his ass. More like twenty five hours, with a connecting flight… somewhere. And after those twenty five hours in the air they arrive… also somewhere.

Okay, maybe Taeil wasn’t actually listening to all the details. And even the details he remembered, he couldn’t pronounce correctly. He was happy that his friends were excited for their trip. Then he was just happy to be away from daily fights and anxiety. Jaehyun was onto something. The flight alone, all those hours in the air, it does something to him. He feels less stressed already. But he also thinks about his relationship and whether or not he can save it. Whatever train of thought he gets on, he ends up with the same conclusion in the end. He’s not happy with the way things are. He wants and deserves to be happy.

He’s half asleep as they get off their final flight and get in a cab to their hotel. He’s not sure how long they’re in the cab for, it seems not that long. He remembers seeing lights and houses by the highway, and he remembers that Jaehyun sat in the passenger seat, which is apparently allowed here.

The cab leaves them right in front of the hotel, and they check in right away. Once he gets to his hotel room, he sends two important emails, then falls onto the bed and falls asleep as soon as he pulls the covers over himself. He spreads out like a starfish. It’s his first time having a bed to himself in the last three years, so he takes full advantage of it.

It’s hours later, how many exactly, he’s unsure, but Taeil gets woken up by his phone ringing. Jaehyun’s calling him on Skype. He’s lost all orientation of time, he doesn’t know what’s going on, and he still has no idea where he actually is. It looks like it’s evening though, from the quick glance through the window. He then drops his head back onto the pillow, trying to shake off the feeling of drowsiness and wake up his muscles which feel like they’ve taken a nap of their own.

“Yup?”

“Wake up. We’re getting something to eat in half an hour,” Jaehyun informs him.

“What time is it?”

“It’s eight. It’s dinner time, and there’s restaurants right outside.”

His stomach grumbles at the mere mention of food, and Taeil finally raises his head up again so he can answer.

“Okay. I’m coming.”

“We’ll wait for you in the lobby.”

Despite the abrupt awakening, and the initial shock he felt in his head, he actually feels extremely rested when he gets up and starts moving a bit, his body relaxed in places he never thought could relax. He has no idea what time they landed, or got to the hotel, so technically, he has no idea how long he slept for, but it also doesn’t matter too much, because he feels like a new person. It must have been the right amount of time.

In the half an hour he has before he has to be downstairs, he opens his suitcase to pull out some clean clothes, and he jumps in the shower to wash the trip off his skin, something that he didn’t have the energy for when he first arrived at the room. He feels refreshed and fully charged by the time he gets to the lobby. He feels ready for a change. He feels really hungry too.

* * *

“Where are we?”

They’re sat in a dimly lit restaurant outdoor space, a pleasant breeze and calming sounds coming from the river just meters away from them. They’re not too far away from their hotel either, it was maybe a two minute walk from there. He hears Sicheng mention that they’re in the city center, and Taeil can’t help but note how very convenient it all is. But if you ask him the name of the city in which center he currently is, he wouldn’t be able to tell you.

“What do you mean?” Sicheng responds with a question.

“I mean, I got on a plane and followed you guys here, but I don’t exactly know where we are.”

“Oh, he’s serious,” Jaehyun says it with shock in his voice.

“We’ve been talking about this trip for three months now.”

“And he’s been having relationship problems for four so…”

His friends seem to be in a world of their own, so Taeil feels the need to remind them.

“I’m right here guys.”

“We’re in Skopje, the capital of Macedonia,” Sicheng tells him. Oh. That does sound like something that would be in Europe, “I’m working on my dissertation, remember. I needed some materials that I can’t get or order online, so I had to come get them in person.”

That’s why they’re here? Everything is starting to make sense now.

“Okay, cool.”

“You’re much more chill here than you are back home.”

“I’m on vacation.”

“Maybe you and Johnny need a vacation together,” the back of the hand comment from Jaehyun is what Taeil has gotten used to. Jaehyun doesn’t even look at him as he speaks, “Did you email him to let him know that you arrived safely.”

“Yes, I did.” Right after he emailed Doyoung, cause he needed to let him know a few things about work, and also cause he was dreading emailing Johnny, but that’s neither here nor there. At least he did it.

“Good. Cause at this point we’re just waiting for you two to break up,” Jaehyun’s still looking through the menu as nonchalantly as he can. Then he realizes what he’s said and looks up at Taeil, “Sorry.”

“I’m gonna figure it out and have it sorted by the time we get back.”

“Try to relax also,” Sicheng prompts, worry in his voice, and Taeil nods, his lips forming a line. He was too focused on trying to fix things with Johnny that he didn’t even notice that his friends have noticed changes in him to the point where they’re worried. Try to relax, Sicheng said, and it does make sense, Taeil hasn’t relaxed once since the fighting started, “By the way, you need to get up around six tomorrow. We’re going to Ohrid.”

“We’re going to another city?”

Sicheng smiles a beaming smile at the question, and he’s even more excited when he gives Taeil the answer.

“Yeah. We’re going to the resting place of the guy who wrote the Cyrillic alphabet. We’re gonna go on a guided tour, and there’s a legend that his heart is still beating, so they might let us listen on his grave to see if we can hear it.”

Linguistics, Sicheng’s profession. Great. Kill him now.

* * *

It’s a three hour bus ride there, and they end up in a city with a really big lake and narrow streets. That’s what Taeil can say about it on first sight. After a short walk through the city, admiring the local architecture, they get some food and prepare for the tour, with Sicheng packing a backpack of snacks just in case Taeil gets bored. They know him too well to know that history stuff isn’t his cup of tea, and they have a backup plan.

They walk to the designated spot, gathering around a guy holding a yellow pointy flag. It’s minutes before the tour is supposed to start.

“If you’re gonna be in this mood the entire time, maybe it’s best if you don’t come,” Jaehyun says, “You can go sightseeing on your own.”

“I’ll come. I don’t mind learning. But I can’t stay behind. I don’t speak the language and I don’t speak enough English to feel comfortable with it. All the sightseeing I’ll be doing is sitting somewhere and waiting for you guys to come back,” Taeil says, explaining himself to the best of his abilities, “Just remember that you promised me fun,” he adds, pointing his finger at Sicheng.

Sicheng is just about to answer when they get interrupted.

“Oh my god!”

It’s the first time they’re hearing Korean come from someone who isn’t in their own group in this country, so least to say, they’re intrigued. All three of them turn to see a group that also consists of three members approaching them, and by mood, they are perfect mirrors to them. An overly excited guy, a chill guy and a grump.

“What is happening?” Taeil asks silently. The group approaches them, and the guy with the widest smile is the first to speak.

“You’re Dong Sicheng.”

Holy fucking shit.

“I am. And you are?”

“Na Jaemin. I’m studying linguistics, I’ve read all your papers on Slavic languages. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Is this reality? Sicheng is a linguistics rock star?

“It’s nice to meet you too. This is my boyfriend Jaehyun. And that’s Taeil, he’s just tagging along,” Sicheng introduces them, and Taeil really wants to thank him for the kind words. Just tagging along… his life is basically falling apart, and his friends are his support system. He’s basically a mess without them.

“Nice to meet you all. This is my boyfriend Jeno, he’s a history major. We’re both here for research. That’s Donghyuck, he’s also just tagging along like your friend.”

Donghyuck, the grump gives Taeil a smile, and nods. As the others engage in friendly introductions, Donghyuck closes the space between him and Taeil. He smiles again.

“Have you ever gotten a degree or a PhD in something connected to this country, and if not, do you plan to do that in the future?” he then asks Taeil. He’s straightforward enough for Taeil to be intrigued, and he’s not asking a question that Taeil minds answering. He’s annoyed by all the research going on in his friend group, and he feels for Donghyuck who has to go through the same, only times two.

“No. I taught myself programming in high school and got a job straight after, now I earn more than both of them ever will, combined.”

“Same. Only I learned in university,” Donghyuck smiles again, “This is going to suck, isn’t it?”

“Sicheng got snacks for me, just in case.”

“Are you going to share?”

“Yes.”

“Nice. I’m sticking with you all day.”

* * *

“This is the oldest lake in all of Europe, and one of the few ancient lakes that remain on our planet,” the tour guide explains, and luckily most of it is in words that Taeil understands. What he doesn’t understand, he gets translated by someone nearby. And between his and Donghyuck’s knowledge, they manage just fine.

It’s interesting. It’s not the most fun he’s ever had, but he’s not bored either. A solid 7 out of 10. Thankfully, he has company that shares his opinion, so it’s not as boring as he first expected it to be, which on the fun scale was going to be a 4. He sends his thanks to whatever coincidence or destiny brought these guys on this trip as well.

“So, why are you here?” Donghyuck asks him, keeping his voice low so it doesn’t disturb anyone else in the group of tourists.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m tagging along because I’m starting a new job next month, and this was my last change for a vacation for the foreseeable future. How about you?”

A stranger. He’s not gonna share his real reason for being here with a stranger. Instead, he offers a little white lie.

“My boss keeps insisting I take vacation days because I never do. I needed to get him off my back,” he says. Technically, it’s true. Doyoung is quite concerned by Taeil’s insistence that he doesn’t need vacation days, especially since things between him and Johnny started going south. He’s offered vacation days so many times, the conversation always ending the same way, with Doyoung saying he’ll have to book him a month long vacation someday. But Taeil loves going to work, he loves all the responsibility he has, and how he has to be practical and creative at the same time. It makes him feel like a grown up. If it wasn’t for his job and his sheer luck in meeting Doyoung, he’d be lost, working a nine to five somewhere where his talents wouldn’t be appreciated. He loves that he gets to make sure none of his employees feel underappreciated.

“You must really like your job.”

“I do.”

“That’s nice. Hope I’ll be able to relate to that statement soon. I’m really excited that I’m joining this new company, I’ve met current and former employees of theirs, not one of them has said a bad word,” Donghyuck says. Taeil wonders what company he’s talking about, his logic and lack of ego doesn’t allow him to think it’s his own. There are so many companies in Korea, so many of them have their own IT sectors with programmers these days. Plus, one coincidence is already too many in Taeil’s eyes. Things like that never happen to him.

“I wish you all the luck.”

“Thank you,” Donghyuck smiles at him, “When are we ditching this?”

“Probably when we’re back in the capital. It seems like there are more things to do over there, compared to here.”

“If you’re going back tonight, we’re probably on the same bus. We can sit together, far away from them and make plans,” he says, and Taeil considers it, “Please say yes, otherwise I’ll have to listen to Jaemin go on and on about your friend, and he does that enough without being anywhere near him.”

Yeah, that’s what he was thinking too.

“Sit with you instead of listening to Sicheng talking about his groupie? You have a deal.”

Donghyuck raises his hand up for a high five, and Taeil reciprocates the gesture.

“So what are you working on right now?” Donghyuck then asks, and Taeil immediately smiles. He has a hard time communicating his work to the people in his life that aren’t his coworkers, and even Doyoung doesn’t fully understand what he’s talking about most of the time. But he can talk coding with Donghyuck forever, and he’ll know what he’s on about. Donghyuck listens, and he knows exactly what to ask, and the entire exchange makes Taeil really happy. His vacation is starting off quite well thanks to that one conversation. Weird.

* * *

_Hey Taeil,_

_As promised, attached below is the list of all the places we decided we’d like to visit in the city while the rest of them ‘research stuff’.  
I look forward to hearing what your first choice will be when we meet up for breakfast tomorrow._

_All the best,  
Hyuck._

_potential-destinations.docx_

Taeil can’t help but smile at the email. He might be getting ahead of himself a bit, he doesn’t know Donghyuck well enough to say anything about his character, but from the interactions they’ve had so far, he seems pretty decent. And he’s excited because he’ll actually get a chance to do something interesting tomorrow that won’t be in a limited amount of time, and it won’t be informative. Thank fuck for that.

What Taeil’s greeted with the next morning is the fact that the two groups have officially merged into one. They meet for breakfast in one of the restaurants by the river, and they make their plans on what to do for the rest of the day. He went over the list he and Donghyuck made the day before twice, making a choice he’s excited to discuss with him. It’s what they’re both going to do, it shouldn’t be just Taeil making decisions for the both of them.

“I thought we could start with some of these museums, for a bit and that structure over there, and we could look into how we can get to the other places for tomorrow,” he says to Donghyuck before scooping another bite of the salty eggy bread in his mouth. It’s unusual to eat eggy bread without any cinnamon or syrup, and to eat it with crumbly white cheese instead, but it’s delicious too.

“Sounds great,” Donghyuck says, “I really want to go to the canyon tomorrow. Let’s look into that first.”

Taeil’s pretty sure that their friends are ignoring them fully, but as he learns soon, they’re listening, and willing to give them advice.

“You guys should go to the Old Bazaar,” Jeno tells them.

“Where’s that?” Taeil asks at the same exact time as Hyuck asks, “What’s that.”

“It’s right next to the fortress, or the structure as you called it,” Jeno further explains.

“It’s a market of sorts, that’s what the word bazaar means. It actually has its origins in Persian, but it’s used here because of the Turkish language,” Sicheng speaks next, seasoning his statement with a dash of his knowledge.

“You know, it’s fascinating how much the Turks have influenced the south Slavic languages and cultures,” Jeno adds.

“Well, the Ottoman empire did spend centuries ruling over the region,” Jaemin offers with a smile.

“We’re gonna leave in half an hour, y’all can be nerds then. Can you be normal in the meantime? Thanks,” Donghyuck deadpans, his eyes shifting between everyone on the table, except for Taeil.

“You see that bridge over there? The one made out of stone, that’s much older than the rest?” Jaemin then asks.

“What about it?” Donghyuck returns.

“They used to execute people on it.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?”

“Nothing ever scares you. You should just visit it,” Jaemin gives him an innocent smile and seconds it with a shrug.

* * *

“Which snacks should we get?”

They’re in the middle of a supermarket looking at a long isle of junk food, and they cannot really decide. There’s choices, and it might be odd, but they’re overwhelmed by them, mostly because it’s things they haven’t tasted before, and they’re curious.

“Let’s just get whatever catches our eye,” Taeil responds.

That’s exactly what they do. They fill Hyuck’s backpack with snacks, and Taeil’s with beverages, and they’re on their way, exploring the city center. There’s an abundance of stores and museums and monuments concentrated in such a small area, and they do the annoying touristy thing of stopping and taking a million pictures at each one. They do all of that without a tour guide rushing them, or any of their serious friends telling them some story.

The do a bit of shopping. Compared to the prices in Seoul, things are between slightly and extremely cheap. The food being one of them, but also clothes and miscellaneous things too. Taeil gets Sicheng and Jaehyun books from a bookstore, some history books for Jaehyun, and for Sicheng a whole anthology of research papers about Macedonian literature, that the lady at the bookstore helps him pick out. He gets himself some clothes, and a few planners that are very similar to the one he uses, but are like half the price. He gets one leather-bound one for Doyoung, his first instinct says a fancy fountain pen, but Doyoung hates fountain pens with a passion, especially because everyone gets him one. He overdoes it a bit, and as their walking through the old Bazaar, Hyuck tells him exactly that.

“I don’t think all those will fit in your suitcase. Or anyone else’s.”

But Taeil has a solution in mind already. It was originally Sicheng’s idea, but Taeil can also bother Doyoung with the same thing.

“I’m gonna put them in a package and FedEx them to my friend, he’s gonna keep them safe until I get back.”

“Do they have FedEx here?”

“That’s what Sicheng said. He’s gonna mail the materials he needs to save on suitcase space too.”

Donghyuck takes it in, thinks about it for a moment.

“If that’s the case we should get souvenirs. There’s a souvenir store over there,” Hyuck says.

“We absolutely should,” Taeil agrees, and they pick up their pace as they walk there. The one thing Taeil knows that Doyoung likes, cause despite it all, he’s a simple man, are fridge magnets. Taeil has a habit of getting Doyoung magnets wherever he goes, and he already did get him a few from the town they went to yesterday. Now he’s ready to get him more, there’ll be space in the FedEx box for the lot, so he might as well.

Donghyuck talks to him about everything, asks for opinions and gives his. The entire day swishes by, and Taeil feels quite relaxed. He doesn’t worry about anything all day long. It’s a nice change to his usual pace.

* * *

In the morning Taeil sees that he’s received an email from Johnny asking him how the trip is going, and telling him he misses him. His initial reaction is feeling slightly guilty that he doesn’t share the same feelings. He takes a few minutes to process, but he can’t dwell on it too much, cause he has a plan for the day and a trip to make.

In order to get to the canyon, they rent a car. They drive on the same side of the street here, as they do back home, so they figure they won’t have a difficult time adjusting to the roads. They rely heavily on GPS, but they still make their way there easily. And they split the driving time between them equally. Taeil drives them there, Hyuck drives them back.

The sights they’re seeing are breathtaking. Taeil is mesmerized by the rock formations on both sides of the lake and stream. There’s so much beauty in the world that he hasn’t seen while he’s been busy pursuing a man who didn’t have time for vacations, or understanding for him, so much so that his home is the source of stress in his life, and his work is his escape.

The thoughts spiraling through Taeil’s head are frankly depressing. He tries to catch that train of thought, but it’s too late. It’s on full speed ahead. He must now rely on the stranger with him to distract his thoughts.

Between discussions about the weather and the nature surrounding them, Hyuck says to him.

“Hope you’re hungry, cause there’s a restaurant at the end of this path.”

He is of course correct, he was the one that researched this place to bits because of how interested he was. A restaurant, right by the water. They order cappuccinos to begin with, while they look over the rest of the menu.

“Why did you learn programming?” Hyuck then asks.

“What?”

“I learned because I wanted to host an ARG, and I needed to customize some websites. The ARG never happened, but I fell in love with coding. I started with CSS and html.”

There’s a patter to it, Taeil can’t help but notice. A tit for tat. Donghyuck gives him an answer to urge him to open up, and does everything he can to continue a conversation. It’s endearing. It gets Taeil talking too, the fact it’s not just a question, but a conversation starter and it’s more of a discussion than just a survey has him feeling comfortable with talking.

“I learned cause I didn’t have any friends in high school, and I got bored easily. I started with php and java.”

“How the fuck did you not have friends? Did you go to school with stupid people?”

“Yes, I did,” Taeil jokes, “What was the ARG gonna be about?”

“A post-apocalyptic society.”

“Now I’m really interested.”

Donghyuck tells him all about it, explaining the story, and how he wanted to pull it off. They got to talking about strategies, and choices Hyuck could make with the code, or the marketing, or the story itself, and it’s fun. It’s the fun Sicheng promised but isn’t delivering on. The conversation is smooth and relaxed and it’s exactly what Taeil needed it to be.

When they get back to their hotel that night Taeil realizes he didn’t email Johnny back, or think about doing that since the morning. He isn’t sure how he feels about it.

* * *

“Can you take a picture of me giving the finger? It’s to annoy my friend.”

“That’s a good enough reason for me,” Taeil agrees. Odd request, considering where they are and what the symbol behind them stands for, but Taeil’s always up for some mischief these days. Donghyuck kind of brings it out in him.

They’re at the accordingly named Millennium Cross, at the top of the nearby mountain. If their friends were here they’d probably learn when it was built and why did they decide to build such a thing, but that same information is on Google too. If he’s too interested, he can look it up any time.

They’ve been here since the afternoon, they had an experimental lunch of something called ‘pizza burek’ and yogurt that’s similar to the one they’re used to, only with tart taste. Other than that, it’s all been sitting and chatting about trips they both would love to make in the future, and taking in the view of the entire city beneath them. They waited until the evening to get back because as nice as the cross is during the day, at night it lights up. They really wanted to get pictures with it lit up before they got back down to the city.

“Make sure you get the whole thing, please.”

“Got it,” Taeil lets him know before he takes the picture. He takes a few for good measure, then walks back to Hyuck to show them to him, “What do you think?”

“They’re excellent. Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Taeil shrugs, and Donghyuck beams another smile at him. Taeil feels happy that he got a chance to cause that smile. Should he? Well, they’re friends. Friends should be happy their friends are happy, “Tell me how this is going to annoy your friend.”

They get a cable car from the top back to the bus station, then a bus that drops them off right in front of the hotel, all the while Taeil learns all about Hyuck’s friend Mark. How they met, how they hang out, and exactly why that middle finger will piss him off.

Taeil once again doesn’t think about Johnny all day long.

* * *

They all make a day trip to a different town again. They take a bus there, again, and Taeil is starting to get used to riding in buses. The last time he took one before this trip was back in his early twenties, when his old car that he and Doyoung used for everything was in the shop.

Hyuck sits next to him and they brainstorm ideas about what they can do while they’re there. He has screenshots on his phone of places he wants to visit and things he wants to see that are in the city center, so they settle on sightseeing and getting some food. Sicheng warns them that there might not be that many things to do cause it’s a smaller town, but Hyuck insists that they’re there to experience exactly that. They’re there for the small town experience.

It’s true, there isn’t a whole lot to do, but it doesn’t mean that there’s nothing to do. The smaller town has some historical significance, and he and Hyuck walk around the city center, as well as the streets surrounding it. In the meantime, linguistic nerds Sicheng and Jeno are off meeting someone for materials for Sicheng’s latest research, and Jaehyun and Jaemin are off visiting some amphitheater. Taeil only remembers cause he hadn’t heard the word amphitheater in a while.

There’s a square with a clock tower there, and a nice fountain. They take a walk and visit some of the places around the city center, hanging back at a fashion designer’s office where both of them get ties for those rare occasions they have to wear a suit for. They take a shit load of pictures of everything, and in front of everything, and after another stroll down the street that leads from the square, they sit down in one of the cafes to regroup and a have meal.

They’re sharing their second plate of sarma, rice wrapped in pickled cabbage leaves, which is by far the best rice dish Taeil’s had outside of Korea. They’re casually chatting about the things they’ve seen, and when Hyuck says it, it takes Taeil by surprise.

“This was more fun than it would’ve been if I was by myself.”

“The stroll around the city?” Taeil asks for clarification.

“The entire trip. I have nothing against this country. It’s just… there’s not a lot to do, and sightseeing is boring when you’re on your own. I’ve tried it.”

“I completely understand,” Taeil agrees, offering a soothing smile.

The conversation then switches to what they’re doing tomorrow, but those words linger in Taeil, tasting like black licorice. It’s sweet at first, but the bitterness hits soon. His interactions with Hyuck seem so natural, so organic.

Why hasn’t he felt that way with Johnny?

* * *

The only guided tour that Hyuck and Taeil are interested in going on is a food and wine tour. They have it booked since the second day in the country, and they’ve been counting down the days to it. Food and wine, what can be better than food and wine.

Apparently, wine is a big thing in the country, and they’re more than happy to taste all of what they can get. Cheese is also served at every stop, Taeil hears words like mixed milk, and aged, but he’s not an expert in any of that. All he actually learns is that the wine is sweet and it gets him buzzed. And the cheese is unlike any cheese he’s had before, it’s crumbly, salty and addictive, Taeil’s pretty sure that it tastes the way hard drugs make you feel, you just have to have another hit.

He still manages to pace himself. Hyuck not so much. The rest of the food is delicious too, they get to taste another version of sarma, this one with grape leaves instead of cabbage, and Taeil decides he likes that version even more. The cuisine is filled with a lot of veggies, meats and pastries, and it plays perfectly on their taste buds.

By the time they’re in the van, on their way back to the city center, Hyuck is slightly more drunk than him, so Taeil lets him lean his head on his shoulder. They don’t go straight inside. It’s late afternoon, and the weather is perfect for outdoor activities, so they take a seat on one of the benches outside of the hotel, hoping the fresh air will get them to sober up a bit.

“I don’t want to forget the taste of that swirly cheese thing,” Hyuck tells him, eyes closed, and his head resting on the back of the bench. The mention of it brings back the taste in Taeil’s memory, and he wants to say he feels the same way, but Hyuck has something else to say, “I don’t want to forget you either.”

That’s another thing that Taeil agrees with.

But he writes it off as the wine.

* * *

Their friends are going to some archaeological site that’s in the suburbs of the capital, so Taeil and Hyuck decide to tag along. They had ‘experience the city suburbs’ on their list of things they want to do, so they actually don’t mind tagging along. They find their way through streets line with houses of all sizes, to a bakery that seems situated in the middle of the neighborhood,. The one thing the food tour lacked was deserts, and they’re curious about what else is there to offer. If they don’t overeat when they’re on vacation, then when, anyway.

They order a slice of cake each, and take a seat in an outdoor area, under the pleasant sun.

It’s quiet for maybe a minute or two, and as things seem to always go when Taeil’s around Hyuck, it’s Hyuck that breaks that silence.

“Do you think they make wedding cakes?”

Taeil almost chokes on the bite of cake in his mouth.

“What?”

“I’m just wondering if all their cakes have so much cream in them. Like, wedding cakes. Can a wedding cake survive the stress of a wedding if like seventy percent of it is cream and frosting?”

Taeil looks down at the slice of cake in front of him. Hyuck is right, the ratio of filling to cake sponge isn’t what they’re used to. It’s a valid question, but it takes Taeil by surprise cause it’s the last thing he expected.

“I’m very curious about the train of thought that lead you to that question.”

“I was just thinking about relationships, and how sometimes people get married.”

“Right,” he responds, even though he really wants to know why. Was he thinking about him? Did that set him down the path of thinking about relationships? His chest gets tighter with the thought of that. Shit.

“And how people get huge wedding cakes. Then I thought about how delicious this cake is. And here we are.”

Taeil needs to shake off the ideas in his head, so he observes the cake a bit more, and shares his conclusion.

“This slice of cake seems to be holding its shape quite well even though it’s really tall. I imagine the wedding cakes hold up well too. The cream is quite stiff, it’s only soft and fluffy once it’s in your mouth.”

“It’s an architectural wonder. Here, try the caramel,” Hyuck says. He cuts a bite with his fork, makes sure it’s all piled well on the prongs and offers the bite to Taeil. He accepts it, despite the fact that this might be the first time ever he’s eating off someone’s fork, someone that’s not Johnny. He feels something in his chest, like clenching pressure, and he’s not sure what that means. Happiness? Sadness? Regret? Or is it guilt?

“We should get some to go,” Taeil then says, only so he can stop thinking about the feeling he’s getting.

“We should,” Hyuck agrees, giving him a beaming smile.

From that moment on, Taeil no longer feels at ease when he’s around Hyuck. But that uneasiness gets worse when he’s not around him.

* * *

They are at the aqueduct near the capital when Taeil first notices the full scope of the attention that Hyuck is giving him. He also notices the warm feeling the attention is sparking inside of him. Taeil, frankly hates attention. He prefers fitting in over standing out. But he doesn’t mind it from Hyuck. He has no idea why.

And Hyuck does give him a significant amount more attention than he does to anyone else. He asks him about things, he directs all conversation towards him, he offers things to him first, then to anyone else. Taeil’s things are in Hyuck’s backpack, because it didn’t make sense for him to take his just for a sandwich and a bottle of water. On the other hand, he’s carrying Hyuck’s jean jacket, that he has just in case.

It frankly doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t feel like he deserves the attention, and what’s worse, he has no idea when they grew so close. Close is the only way to explain this thing between them. It’s just the two of them most of the time, and they get along quite well.

What bothers him most of all is one single thought. It creeps in once and he cannot shake it away.

If he wasn’t in a relationship, he and Hyuck would’ve probably hooked up by now.

The moment he realizes that it’s over for him. No turning back.

* * *

“Let’s go sit by the river and get drunk on cheap alcohol,” Hyuck suggests after he knocks on Taeil’s hotel room door.

It’s their final day here, they have a flight in the next day. Taeil figures he’ll have enough time to get over his hangover by the time they need to get on the plane. So he might as well be carefree one more time.

In the evenings the weather is significantly colder than the days, so they have thin jackets on. They are sitting on the stairs right of the stone bridge, and they’re each two beers in when Taeil’s phone rings. Doyoung. It’s 3 in the morning in Seoul, so it must be something serious. What could he possibly want, though? Him calling at three am can only mean one thing. Something must’ve gone horribly wrong.

“No one’s dead,” Doyoung says, immediately interrupting Taeil’s moment of panic.

“You do know I’m like 8000 kilometers away from home right now and this is gonna cost a fortune?”

“I do. It’s an emergency.”

“I figured. What’s up?” Taeil asks into his phone as he gets up and starts pacing in circles on the tiled space at the end of the stairs.

“The entire company is falling apart without you,” Doyoung’s dramatic voice makes Taeil chuckle, “In all seriousness, they almost fucked up the entire project today. The deadline is next month, Taeil. Whose ass do I need to whoop here so they take me seriously?”

“Literally, all you guys had to do was hold down the fort for a week and do business as usual. Did you let Yuta be in charge?”

“You specifically said make Yuta in charge.”

“I specifically said don’t make Yuta in charge,” Taeil corrects him.

“Yeah, that makes more sense. What do we do now?”

“I’ll get on the server, and see what they’ve done so far, fix things if I can. I’ll email you, if I find out what’s going on. I’ll be back to work on Monday, we’re closed on weekends, so they can’t fuck it up more, can they?”

“Thank you. You’re a life saver. I hope I’m not ruining anything.”

“Just my final day here.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

No, he won’t. If this is how things function if Taeil’s gone, he’ll never have to turn down another vacation again.

“You can’t pay me back for this.”

“How much, asshole?”

“When I tell you all about it, you’re gonna hate yourself,” Taeil says and he looks at Hyuck as he speaks. Hyuck smiles at him, and he can’t help but smile back, it’s just wanton at this point.

“I’m dying to know what that means.”

“I’ll email you,” Taeil finally says, and he hangs up. He looks at Hyuck again, and the expecting look on his face shows Taeil does something to him. He’s ready to do whatever, as long as it’s with Hyuck. And this is definitely something that will go faster if two pairs of eyes are looking for whatever issue they need to solve, “How good are you at searching for bugs?”

“Like regular bugs, or bugs in code?”

Fucking adorable.

“In code. It’s a work emergency.”

“Pretty decent.”

“Come on then, I could use your help.”

That’s the reason why they move their party to the floor of Taeil’s hotel room, rather than the steps by the river. There’s alcohol involved still, which makes the boring job of reading code much more interesting. They’re sitting next to each other, much closer than they ever have, their eyes glued to the screen of Taeil’s laptop as he scrolls down through millions of lines of code.

The bug isn’t too difficult to find, Hyuck spots something and they’re suddenly on the track of it. It takes them maybe twenty minutes to notice all the inconsistencies, and some necessary lines of code missing from their critical positions. In another twenty minutes they edit through the material, and have it sorted. They’re actually quite lucky that it’s nothing bigger than that and it doesn’t take up more of their time. Taeil makes sure to tell that to Doyoung in the email he sends him with the update on what he found and how he solved it.

“You work fast,” Hyuck tells him after he finally shuts down his laptop.

“Professional defect,” he replies, offering a smile. With the amount of projects they’re working on and the supervisions he has to do on the daily, Taeil has to be fast, “What do you want to do now? We can go back outside.”

“We can stay here too,” Hyuck responds. It’s only then that Taeil realizes exactly how close they are to each other and the air gets heavy. The temperature in the room skyrockets.

Hyuck is slowly leaning in to kiss him, looking at his lips. Taeil only panics because he really wants to be kissed. Hyuck’s lips are so near to his, they look soft and wet, and Taeil can feel Hyuck’s warm breath against his own. He licks his lips, preparing himself. And then he thinks about how kissing Hyuck would be cheating, and his brain short-circuits.

“My relationship is falling apart,” Taeil blurts out the words.

“What?”

Donghyuck jerks his head back, confusion on his face. So Taeil explains.

“I came with my friends because my relationship is falling apart. I’ve been with him for three years, and things aren’t the greatest right now, and I just needed a break from it. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m so sorry.”

“I thought you were single. We’ve been flirting all week. I didn’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeil says, feeling as the embarrassment paints his cheeks red. Hyuck is getting up, and Taeil follows after him.

“Is it all me? Am I just seeing things because I want them to be there?”

“No. It’s not just you. I wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you. But I can’t. I can’t make you the other person. You don’t deserve that,” Taeil finds himself admitting, expressing all the worries that passed through his head as soon as Hyuck started leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m gonna go.”

“I’m sorry, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck pauses when he reaches the door.

“I can’t stop knowing you, Taeil. You’re the only one that doesn’t mind me being myself. Call me when you figure it out.”

Taeil rushes over to Sicheng and Jaehyun’s room, and panics about it to his friends. He has no choice but to do exactly that. He recounts all of it, he tells them the smallest of details.

“He’s your future.”

That’s all Sicheng has to say after his long explanation, while Jaehyun just sighs at him. They must be drunk. Drunker than Taeil at least.

“That isn’t exactly helping me right now,” Taeil replies, then watches as Sicheng leaves the hotel room completely, letting Jaehyun to deal with it all on his own. Fuck. Taeil doesn’t see this ending well.

“You said you wanted to kiss him?”

“Yes.”

“But kissing him would be cheating, and you’re not about that life.”

“Exactly.”

“And you have his email. And number.”

“Yep.”

“Then get your duckies in a row when we get back, and ask him out when you’re ready.”

“You’re saying it like it’s the easiest thing ever.”

“It is.”

Jaehyun probably wasn’t listening to everything Taeil was just saying.

“I literally just fucked it up.”

“Oh, please. That kid is eating out of your hand.”

As an uncomfortable silence builds between them, Taeil starts to feel uneasy about it, the urge to break it building inside him. He does exactly that, but what he says surprises him.

“I’m sorry, Jae,” Taeil finds himself saying.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I put you in the middle of this. I keep putting you in the middle. I know you’re uncomfortable. You were Johnny’s friend first, and I…”

“That’s not why I’m uncomfortable. Don’t be silly,” Jaehyun interrupts him, “We’re friends too. I’ll be forever grateful that you introduced me to Sicheng, and I’ll always support you. Even if you weren’t in the right, and in this situation, you are in the right. That’s why I’m uncomfortable.”

“I’m in the right,” Taeil repeats the words because they just don’t sit right.

“You deserve to be with someone who loves and appreciates you for every bit of you. You have always made more than most of us and he never liked it. That’s why I’m uncomfortable. When he lost his job his insecurities got worse. You try, we all see it. But it’s not your job to make anyone feel secure in themselves, especially not by minimizing your efforts and accomplishments,” Jaehyun says, taking a pause to let Taeil process what he’s said. Then he continues, “None of us are exactly happy about your relationship, we haven’t been from the start. This is the last straw. That’s why Doyoung constantly tells you to break up with him. Fuck it, we all want you to. We dragged you over here cause we wanted you to see how you’d feel without him around. Maybe you two would make good friends, but as boyfriends it’s not working, and it never will,” Jaehyun takes another beat, allowing the words to sink in. As he watches Taeil take a deep breath, he speaks again, putting the cherry on top of the lovely cupcake he’s presenting, “It’s time for you to let go, Illie. Donghyuck is just a happy coincidence. We thought you’d choose between Johnny and freedom from the fighting and the pressure. But your choice changed. Johnny or Donghyuck? Don’t forget that neither is also a choice. And let’s be real, you already know which choice you’re not going to make.”

He does.

He’s not going to choose Johnny.

And Jaehyun just made sure that he never feels guilty for not choosing Johnny.

* * *

Both flights, and the layover he realizes is in Dubai now that he’s not out of it and mentally drained, are filled with Taeil writing a break up speech in his head, and thinking about what he’s going to do after. He keeps glancing towards Hyuck cause he feels like he’s missing out on something when he’s not looking at him. He thinks about whether or not he’s gonna ask Hyuck out or not. He lies to himself with that. What he’s thinking about really is whether he’s going to do it immediately, or wait a bit. He doesn’t want to include him in his mess. He doesn’t want to wait too long and miss out on his chance, either.

By the time they land in Seoul, he still doesn’t know what to say and how to go about it all.

They travel back as a group, saying their final goodbyes as they’re walking out of the airport. It’s awkward between Taeil and Hyuck, there’s frustration, and some really unresolved tension, and it’s pretty obvious to everyone around them.

Taeil isn’t sure what he should say, or if he should say anything. And lucky for him, the entire exchange gets interrupted.

“Taeil!” he hears Johnny’s voice, and turns around to see his boyfriend, running towards him. He feels nothing except the dread that’s been building up in him ever since he left.

“How are we feeling?” Sicheng teases. It’s obvious to everyone now.

“Shut up,” Taeil tells him, then raises his arm to acknowledge his boyfriend.

“No more running away bud,” Jaehyun squeezes his shoulder.

“I said, shut up,” he says again, meeting Hyuck’s eyes for a second before he turns towards his boyfriend again.

“Hey guys. Hi,” Johnny’s second greeting is aimed at Taeil as he gives him a hug. Taeil’s glad his head is obstructing his view, otherwise he’d be looking at Hyuck again, and feeling all the guilt in the world, “How was the trip?”

“It was good,” Taeil says, trying to hide his discomfort. Johnny pulls back, so Taeil fakes a smile.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

Of course this was going to follow.

“Yeah, sure. That’s Jeno, Jaemin, and that’s Donghyuck,” Taeil points out each new friend, his eyes lingering on Donghyuck who’s just as uncomfortable as he is.

“Nice to meet you all,” Johnny says, “Does anyone need a ride?”

“We’re good,” Donghyuck answers, the smile across his lips as fake as Taeil’s.

“Us too,” Jaehyun tells him. Very helpful, Taeil wants to remark.

“We should go,” Taeil says. He feels so uncomfortable, and he’s scared that all his secrets will be spilled right there. He needs to get away immediately, and take Johnny with him before he reads right through him and sees that in the ten days Taeil was away from home, he already started catching feelings for someone else, and those exact feelings aren’t on top of his already existent ones for Johnny. His feelings for Johnny are gone, for what, Taeil realized while they were flying over China, have been months.

“First, a group hug. Bring it in everyone, Taeil,” Jeno says, and they all know what he’s on about. Once they all huddle around, with Johnny observing a few steps away, Jeno starts speaking, “This was a great vacation for us. It was really nice meeting you all. I feel like we made a great connection,” he says and pauses, focusing his eyes on Taeil as he continues. Sicheng gives Taeil’s shoulder a squeeze that’s supposed to be comforting, but it doesn’t do the job all the way, “We shouldn’t lose touch. I really value this friendship we started. Email, call, let’s make plans and go out sometime. I really hope we see each other soon. Have safe trips home, and make good choices.”

And Taeil gets exactly what Jeno means. Choose Hyuck, and do it fast. It’s not the most helpful thing he’s ever heard, but he appreciates it. At least he knows that he didn’t fuck up completely. There’s still a chance.

* * *

Taeil finally makes up his mind on what he wants to say, and breaks up with Johnny a week later.

It’s nastier than any of the fights they had in the previous months, but it’s not loud at all. It’s silent, and heated, and they’re both saying things they never thought they would. There’s no going back on it. When it’s done, it’s done forever, cause in the end, by what they say, it seems like the only thing left between them after three years together is bitterness and hate.

Taeil is the one that moves out, it’s how it has to be since the apartment is in Johnny’s name. He packs an overnight bag, and heads over to Sicheng and Jae’s for the night. He gets the rest of his things in the following days, puts them in storage for the time being. He starts looking for an apartment of his own that same night, but it’s not easy to find one so quickly, and as comfortable Jaehyun and Sicheng pretend they are with him sleeping on their couch, he knows he needs to get out of their way as soon as he possibly can. So he stays at theirs for a few days, he goes to Doyoung’s for over a week, then books himself a room at a motel.

He moves into his own place about a month after the break up, he finds one in a location that’s not far from work, or far from his friends, so it suits him well. It takes him a few days to get the apartment set up and his own routine back to normal. It’s not exactly easy. It gets sad at some moments, like the first day he gets back from work and he announces it to the empty apartment.

It hits him harder than it should. But he’s ready to start again. He’s ready for better. He made a good choice after all. Sometimes, though, when you can’t exactly grow the balls you need to do that one thing you want, the universe chooses for you.

* * *

No matter what’s going on with his private life, he still has to be professional at work. And luckily, work really helps him redirect his energy and focus on more important things than the fact that he has to go home to an empty apartment.

He knows that Doyoung is hiring, but he only hears that Doyoung has actually hired someone new the day he gets back from the trip. He doesn’t learn any details about the new employee beforehand. He doesn’t want to go into any work relationship with prejudice because of something he heard from their old coworkers and employers. Sometimes people aren’t exactly a good fit in office environments, but that doesn’t make them any less skilled. That’s why Doyoung does blind hires, based on skill, rather than experience and education.

All Taeil knows about the new employee is that he needs to greet him and get him started on Monday.

He doesn’t think about it at all. It’s the last thing on his mind, actually. He thinks about Hyuck on the daily, and it does cross his mind once, but Seoul is a big city and he figured a long time ago that he isn’t lucky, so he doesn’t think that it would happen.

“This is your desk. And you are sitting right next to our COO. This is Moon Taeil, he’ll help you get settled and loop you in. You’ll be answering to him.”

Taeil looks up from his computer screen to the best surprise he’s had all year.

“Hi,” Taeil smiles at him.

“Hi,” Hyuck returns.

“Weird. Do you guys know each other?” Doyoung asks, eyes darting between them both.

“Yes, we do.”

“Oh, are you that Donghyuck? Is he?” Doyoung’s eyes widen, lips slowly turning into a smile as he watches Taeil nod, “We’re even more excited to have you here Mr. Lee, now that we know exactly who you are. Thank you for your help with the government project. Illie, I’ll tell Taeyong email you the forms you need to fill out and schedule a meeting.”

What Doyoung actually says with the mention of Taeyong is that he gives his blessing. He says go for it.

“Thanks Doyoung.”

“You’re the COO? You’re on first name basis with the CEO and he has a nickname for you? And you told him about me?”

“He’s my best friend and when I started working at this company the entire company was just him and me,” Taeil explains, spinning his chair towards Hyuck and watches as he sits down, “This is your new job.”

“Yep. You didn’t call or email me.”

“I’m sorry. I was going to. I was kind of busy.”

“With what? Did you fix your relationship?”

The conversation is quiet enough to remain between them, but not uncomfortably so. There’s also quite lucky that it’s really early in the morning, and the rest of the employees have yet to show up.

“No, I didn’t. I ended it. So I had to find a new apartment and move. That’s what kept me busy.”

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool,” Donghyuck stutters out, trying his best to hide the smile widening on his lips. He clears his throat before he asks his next question, “Mr. I don’t tell people I’m a COO at the biggest software developer in Korea, what’s the policy on interoffice relationships in this company?”

Taeil chuckles.

“They’re not prohibited, they just have to be disclosed with HR when they’re longer than a month, or they’re something like ours.”

“You mean like, if one of the people in the relationship is the new employee, and the other is his and everyone else’s boss.”

“I’m not Doyoung’s boss,” he jokes.

“Where’s HR?”

“Getting ahead of ourselves, are we?”

“You’re right. We can do it next week. I need to take you out first. How does Friday sound?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Taeil accepts. He’d be an idiot not to, “And Taeyong is our head of HR, he’s gonna email me the form we need to fill out and set up a meeting with us.”

Taeil’s heart skips at the sight of Hyuck blushing when he says that.

“How much exactly did you tell to CEO?”

“I let him read all the emails I drafted to send you.”

“You’re unbelievable, Moon Taeil. You told everyone you like me before you told me.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I told you first.”

**Author's Note:**

> did i google the taste of black licorice just to make that one comparison cause we don’t have black licorice candy in my country? yes, yes i did.  
> if anyone wants google maps links or names of the places mentioned, do let me know, i’m happy to provide them all.
> 
> hope you enjoyed. feel free to tell me what you thought.  
> have a great day!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/newct127)   
>  [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/newct127)


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